So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
