.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
