i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
