It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
