Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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