ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
