She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
