Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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