You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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