Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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