I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
