Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
