OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
