My first STD was from a foam party
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize