The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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