I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
