I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
