I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
do herpes really smell.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i've created a new STD.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Please don't give away my fajitas
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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