I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
