It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I've blown a few things in my day
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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