I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
