I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
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Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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