good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
