Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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