Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
