I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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