Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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