honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
