i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
