Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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