Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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