Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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