he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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