I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
