i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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