My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
