I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
