12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
