Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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