I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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