He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
