Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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