I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
