How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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