The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
