I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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