Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
