Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize