Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
