fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I didn't shave. On purpose
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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