I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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