That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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