I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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