also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
