She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My bed smells like the plague
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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