absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
