i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Panties = found
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
