I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
