Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
